Without You
by vampirefireflies
Summary: 1912. Bella is sailing home with her fiance on the R.M.S. Titanic, and her one true love goes down with the ship. A tragic accident, and Bella's mortality is changed forever. With an eternity to spend alone, will she ever find happiness again? ExB
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie.**

**Song: "Angel" by Sarah McLachlan**

Prologue

I stared up at the moon. The silver light pooled around me, and I closed my eyes. I let myself drown in it.

As much as I wanted to feel complete, I couldn't fool myself. I was alone. Always alone. The moon was my only friend, and even she abandoned me during the day.

I hugged my knees to my chest and let my eyes wander through the forest. The moonlight cast everything into shadows.

On an impulse, I jumped onto a tree, and climbed with ease, closer to the moon.

Closer to the source of light. The only light.

As I reached the final branch, the wind whipped through my hair. I leaned into it, felt its caress.

I can't tell you how long I stayed there, one with the night. Alone with my thoughts. Still to the wind.

Trying, always trying to mend my broken heart.

To rid myself of thoughts of you.

I wished a tear would leak down my cheek. I wish I could fall, and be able to take my life. But I can't.

My very existence is for you. Yet you no longer exist for me.

How can I forget you, when I think of what could have been?

How cruel. That I survive, endlessly, while your life was cut short. I tried to hold on to you. And you left. No, you were pulled away.

I will wait for you. One day, I will die. I will find a way to. And we will be together. We need to be together.

Until then, my love. I continue to go on, living this damned existence. Without you.

Forever, without you.


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: All recognizable characters belong to Stephanie.**

April 10, 1912

I'm finally going home! I looked up through the crowded street at the ship that would take us home. The Titanic! What an experience! Unsinkable, they say.

I looked over to my fiancé, Ben. I squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Can you believe it? We're actually going on it!"

He smiled and pulled me close, placing a kiss on my neck. "I know. It's an amazing ship."

I leaned into his embrace, and he rested his head on mine.

I smiled into his chest. "We're going home."

"Finally." He murmured.

I held his hand as we walked closer to the dock. We had to make our way through throngs of people who were waving goodbye, or just gaping at the ship.

We were separated into separate lines to get checked for lice and whatnot, and I immediately missed his presence.

I allowed my thoughts to wander.

_Home._

We would be in New York in just a few days. Well, that's what Ben said. I had my doubts. I knew that the Titanic was well equipped with the latest technology, and was built for speed, but I still had a hard time believing that it was that fast.

I was just so excited! I had never been on a ship before, and this was a ship if there ever was one.

I wondered who my roommate would be. As much as I wanted to sleep in the same room as Ben, I knew it would be very indecent. I was a lady after all, and we weren't married yet. I knew how it would look. I may be a virgin, but I knew what was expected in the bedroom. I'm not that innocent.

"Next!"

I was startled out of my thoughts by an angry man.

"Miss, please, the Titanic won't wait for you, and there are a lot of people in line…"

"Of course. Sorry."

I blushed. I must have been too wrapped up in my thoughts to hear him calling me.

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I fought my way through the crowd towards the loading deck. I was searching frantically for Ben, which was near impossible with so many people.

"Excuse me, I need to board, Excuse me…"

I continued to get closer to the people in line to get onto the ship. I desperately needed to find Ben! He had our tickets!

I started to hyperventilate. What if he's on board already and he forgot? What if he's stuck in the crowd somewhere? What if I can't find him and I get left behind?

My imagination was going into wild and I was crazy with worry.

Just then, I saw a familiar face, and I relaxed. He made his way over to me and chuckled.

"You weren't worried about me now were you?"

"Of course I was! You have the tickets!"

He frowned.

"I thought you had the tickets."

My heart dropped into my stomach and I stopped breathing, but then he cracked a smile.

"Silly Isabella. You worry too much. I can only imagine how bad it will be once you're my wife!"

I glared at him, but inside I felt a thrill when he said 'wife'. I loved him, and couldn't wait to be back in America so we could finally get married.

Slowly, the line moved forward. Closer to the ship of the century.

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"Oh, it's so beautiful!"

"Indeed."

I looked at him and blushed. I got the feeling he wasn't talking about the ship.

I raised my eyes upward once again. The ceiling was magnificent, as was everything else. It was perfectly molded, and a huge chandelier hung from the ceiling. The walls were a rich mahogany, and the furnishings looked so… elegant.

Ben brushed a stray lock of my hair back into my bun. "Just think." He breathed. "We're to be married in two weeks."

I smiled up at him. "I can't wait."

"I love you, Isabella."

"Mmmmm. I love you too."

"Come on, I'll help you carry your things to your room. Let's see… where is C Deck?"

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Well, the take-off (forgive me if that is not the right term, as I said, this is my first time on a ship!) was quite eventful. A little boat near us was pulled along with the Titanic! It would have been very funny were it not for the fact that it was potentially dangerous. For us and the tiny boat.

My roommate is very nice. She boarded in Ireland. Her name is Chloe, and she enjoys reading, learning, and nature, as I do. I found that she is going to America for an adventure, and that she has no family save her brother.

We bonded very quickly. She and Ben hit it off quite nicely too.

Oh, Ben. My heart aches for how much I love him! I fear if we were ever to be separated my heart would bleed! In only two short weeks we will be married, and we can start a life together. Godspeed to this ship. The sooner we arrive in New York, the sooner we can get a train to Washington. The sooner we can be one in the eyes of God!


End file.
